‘I’m heartbroken after losing my wife to Alzheimer’s – her first symptoms’

Alzheimers Research UK explain 'what is dementia?'

“In hindsight, I realise there were numerous indicators that maybe I should have been more aware of,” David Allot said of the moments when Margaret was changing.

Margaret had started to excuse herself from conversations by finding chores to do, she had started withdrawing from family gatherings, and she became accusatory.

“My wife would forget we had agreed to purchase certain things then, when they arrived, she was accusing me of wasting money,” David told Express.co.uk.

“Had I been more aware of these tell-tale signs, maybe we could have got an earlier diagnosis,” David reflected.

The “defining moment” when David realised something was wrong occurred four years after these subtle changes in Margaret’s personality.

READ MORE… ‘I lost my wife to Alzheimer’s’ – symptoms of dementia

“We went to pick up Margaret’s car from the garage after having a complete respray,” David began.

“She had asked me to make sure I went slowly as she was not sure of the way home and would need to follow me… even though she had been driving around Milton Keynes on her own for over 30 years.”

Margaret didn’t turn left at a roundabout to follow David’s lead, instead finding herself at Central Milton Keynes train station car park, when she called for a taxi home.

“This was to be the last time she drove her car,” David said, who soon after visited his doctor to ask for help.

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“The doctor agreed that she would ask Margaret to come into the surgery on the pretext that she needed to do a medication review,” said David.

From that appointment, the doctor informed them both that Margaret was to be referred to a specialist memory clinic.

“At that point in time Margaret was in denial that there was anything wrong with her,” David remembered.

But David persuaded Margaret to go to the clinic, and they came home that day knowing Margaret had Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 65.

“I was devastated,” David shared. “The journey since then, that we had to travel, was extremely sad at every point along the way.”

Determined to look after Margaret in the best possible way that he could, her passing on July 7, 2023, has left him heartbroken.

Grieving the loss of Margaret, twice, once to Alzheimer’s and then to death, has been incredibly painful and hard for David.

David goes into more depth about his experience in his new book, Mirror Mirror.

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