Meghan Markle raised some eyebrows when eagle-eyed fans noticed changes to her engagement ring, which saw a thick gold band swapped for a thinner, micro-pavé band (see the before and after pictures below). Accusations of diva antics were levelled at the Duchess of Sussex, but if you hate your engagement ring (like maybe Megs did) are you really stuck with it for life? Is it ever ok to change your engagement ring?
We spoke to Lysn psychologist Nancy Sokarno, B. Psych, about how to approach the topic tactfully.
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Do you think it’s ok to ask to change your engagement ring?
I think it really depends on the relationship and how open and transparent you are with each other. It also depends on the other person, and how they are likely to react to that kind of request. Some people would prefer that their partner really liked the engagement ring and wears it all the time, rather than not wear it because they didn’t like it! Other people may be offended by the request, as it is a sentimental gift and should be the thought and meaning that counts. Tread with caution!
Meghan Markle had her engagement ring altered to include a diamond encrusted band.
What would be your tips for approaching that topic and keeping your relationship in tact?
Honesty is always the best policy, but can have a huge impact on someone’s feelings. Take in to account how well your partner may have reacted in other situations that were similarly sensitive. Just remember how much time, effort, money and feelings go into something like this. Show your gratitude in the first instance by saying how much you are excited about the future, that you loved the gesture in the first moments as this can impact how your special moment turns out. After the excitement wears off you may be able to suggest a slight adjustment or that a change would suit you more. It is more just about finding a type of ring that suits your style, and style is something that is very personal (some people’s closest friends or family members wouldn’t be able to pick the right ring)!
Is it a bad sign if your partner chooses an engagement ring you don’t like?
It may feel like your partner isn’t too attentive to your style though it does not mean they “don’t know you”. This can be a difficult task to get right, even though he/she might be off the mark shouldn’t make this mistake a deal breaker. After all it’s just jewellery right?
Is it better for the relationship if you just grin and bear it?
No, as it may build resentments towards your partner by not being open about something you look at every single day! Secrets like that can feel like you’re hiding something from your partner and can turn into the elephant in the room (especially if your friends and family know about it). You’ll want to be excited to show your ring off, but if you don’t like it, it’s likely you’ll be less enthusiastic about even wearing it. If you can approach the subject gently I think most partners would appreciate knowing the truth.
Tips to prevent this from happening:
- Get a friend or family member to speak/go with your partner when purchasing the ring
- Have conversations around what styles ,shapes and colours that much your style with your partner
- Gather inspo photos and send subtle hints to your partner, so they have a rough idea of what you might like
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