Is Your Relationship Over or Should You Fight for It?

Whether you’ve been married for a decade or have been together just long enough to get past the honeymoon phase, it can be difficult to know when to call it a day when your relationship has gone sour. Here are some signs that might sound familiar: The two of you are fighting constantly lately and you never really make up — and maybe don’t talk to each other at all some days. You rarely plan date nights anymore, and sex has lost its spontaneity. It may feel like you’re drifting farther and farther apart. On the outside, it seems like you’re on the brink of a break-up. 

Or are you? Sometimes you find yourself doubting that splitting up is the right thing to do in between those moments when you’re positive this relationship is done. But how can you be certain there’s nothing left of your love to hold onto? How do you know when things are really, truly over…past the point of saving?

“It’s important to consider all the little ‘endings’ that come and go but feel big at the time,” says Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles and the author of Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t!. “Many of my clients feel the relationship is going to end any minute when they are insecure… Their fears become a self-fulfilling prophecy and propel the relationship to a premature end.” 

But every relationship is different. We spoke to experts to better understand when to call it quits and when you should put more effort toward working it out. 

Here are seven signs your relationship is about to end:

You don’t want to be together as much anymore. 

If you’ve lost interest in being with each other and spending time together, that’s a common red flag that your relationship might be on the verge of a split, according to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., a psychotherapist known as “Dr. Romance” and the author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences.

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